Good bye, good bye, good friends, good bye....kinda.

People I shall be moving houses...well, blog houses. I will post the stuff I usually post here on http://www.yourmomsaidso.blogspot.com/. The blog features me and another shower individual. I will use this to post other writing work I might do in the future. Typin this is making mans eyes get all watery and dat...

This ain't a goodbye. It's more a see you over there....fo' real.

With the spider seats (ruff), you neva seen it.

Advice to those eeediots that managed to go to RE*DING (I refuse to say the whole stinkin' word as it makes me want to punch my computer..and you don't understand how long it takes to download Windows 91):

do not mention 'how great it was' or 'how bad I stink', because you know full well I wanted to go.

Go take a bath.

Yes I'm bitter.

*I dont really have Windows 91, was it ever made?

Wine wid it, girl snap ur fingers with it.

With the Notting Hill Carnvial only days away, I felt the need to not only educate you guys (booooring), but offer you some friendly tips for the day. I was going to offer separate tips for people that are black and those that aren't, but then I thought why? Can we not all be one?

THE BORING (YET VERY IMPORTANT PART).

The annual event which first began in 1965, takes place in West London over two days (Sunday and Monday)during the month of August. Since that point on the joyous street congregation hasn't looked back. Once holding the title as one of the largest street festival's in Europe, the Caribbean inspired celebration has managed to attract around 1.5 million followers. This should not come as a surprise as the fumes of freshly cooked foods dancing through the air and the masses of beautifully chosen costumes are enough to attract even the most skeptical of audiences... (Continued, but can not be bothered to put up the rest...sorry)

THE GOOD PART.

Now, the brainy crap is over, we must delve into the most important part..CARNIVAL ETIQUETTE. You are probably wondering why the hell you need to be instructed on how to do the whole carnival thing right? Well I don't care at present time, but you will be thanking me later. So sit back and relax as these tips are sure to bring out the jerk chicken in you.

POINT ONE: GET THERE EARLY!
Now, us youths seem to run on a different time zone, the 'yeah I'm 5 mins away', however you damn well know you are still calling from your house phone! That game only works when you're planning to go somewhere that doesn't contain a large number of black people in a confined space... however carnival is a whole new ball game. Now when I say early I mean early, you need to be up quicker than a man who just overdosed on Viagra. No joke. Do you know how hard it is to squeeze past 10 couples who decide it's alright to dry-frig in the middle of a busy street...Believe me its very hard...however it beats watching another dry Eastenders Omnibus.

POINT TWO: PUBLIC TRANSPORT MATE.
Now, me being the age I am, I have no CHOICE but to take public transport. HOWEVER, In a few months that shall change so go frig a Punto you drivers. This one should have been obvious, I mean, unless you're turned on by the idea of driving
your BMW into little children dressed up as swans and shyte there's no reason for you to drive. With that in mind, make sure you plan your journey, you know...how you will get there, get back and stuff. This really should be done the night before...yet, the driving over innocent kids thing is sounding kinda tempting. No lie.

POINT THREE: DON'T BRING VALUABLES.
I will never forget the time my friends phone got taken by the male she was dancing with...she swore it was love, and he swore it was her phone and money.how I laughed and laughed. Yet, after the laughter, I realised it really wasn't that funny...well, not to her at least. This is a simple tip, don't bring anything you know your parents will flykick you for losing. So instead of bringin a digital camera, opt for a disposable (YES, they still sell those and YES, I do still use them). Instead of bringing your mobile, take change and find a phone box. Instead of paying their rip off prices, cook your own chicken and bring your own drinks...I don't do that, by the way.

POINT FOUR: KNOW YOUR TOILET.
Now, this is the hardest part of carnival as, when nature calls believe you best be answering that phone. I usually would suggest trying to hold it, yet with all the excitement you're waters may break, and believe me, the only yellow-ish liquid I wish to be stepping in is Appletiser. If you're a pimp like I, you will bring with you

1) a novel (who knows how long you will take in the toilet), preferably Romeo and Juliet...romantic shtye.
2)Oust, spray before as you don't want to be inhaling someone elses solids!, Also, for after you do your thing, however, if you are reeeal evil, don't bother spraying after...the person after you should have gone toilet before they left, they must learn.
3) Your own tissues, call me picky but if the paper is not of Andrex quality...two words...ARMS-FRICKIN-HOUSE...well that's kind of three words.

Also, as you all already know NEVER SIT DOWN ON A PUBLIC SEAT!!Unless you enjoy trading bumsweat.

STEP FIVE: MERK THE POLICE.
When I say merk, I mean merking on the dancefloor. I don't hate the police, I just don't like them alot. However, when it comes to carnival all stereotypes somehow disappear. Believe me its a great feeling, its like Elephant Man meets The Bill. Plus, no one can ever tell me getting taught how to Duttywine by PC Randoff wasn't the best experience in my life. No, I don't get out much.

STEP SIX: ENJOY YOURSELF
Now, with all the tips and tasks its easy to forget the main aim of Carnival is to enjoy yourself. So, just relax and do ya thing. Take note, with gun/knife crimes going on its important to keep yourself extra safe. Also, to all those wanna be badkids out there, UNLESS YOU ARE ABOUT TO CARVE A TURKEY OR DECIDE TO DO A SPOT OF FOX HUNTING AFTER THE CARNIVAL, THERE IS NO NEED TO CARRY ANY HARMFUL 'INSTRUMENTS'.

You may see me...you may not. So no rude activity..well not until I arrive.

Also, deodorise.That is all.

You came up to Neverland.

You guys, I just couldn't leave you alone for too long. I happened to be searching on YouTube for a good, clean, religious, completely un-dirty video which didn't involve topless men in y-fronts...and I stumbled upon this video. AND BOY AM I GLAD.



If you aren't sure, YES that is in fact Kel Mitchell from the gangsta programme that was KENAN AND KEL. This brought a little tear to my eye as I remember imitating him in primary school, carrying my very own bottle of Organgina everywhere I went. Yep,they don't sell orange soda over here, so I had to settle. But looking back at Kel now, I have the strange feeling that, that drink had a few more ingredients than pure orange juice, if ya snort...I mean get what I'm saying.



Proper blog...this September.

Blud, don't make me get old skool.

Hey people, as you may know from my myspace name, I am currently on holiday. Although I could carry on my blog whilst in Spppaaaaiiinnnnn (just thought I'd drop it in there), I don't want to do anything half-heartedly. So although I'll be back soon, the blogs won't be updated constantly untill Sepetember. It shall be worth the wait.BELIVE ME. It will be so good you'll feel the urge to slap your nan with a fish...whatever turns you on mate.

Be sure to check my myspace, myspace.com/toodamnstank for any updates or new news. If you want music reviewed, to be interviewed, or simply want to
try it on with me (jokes...or am I? No I am.), you can go to the myspace or send me an email at superstank@hotmail.co.uk.

Not giving anything away but do the MC Maniac or singer Namalee sound familiar? Name dropping is a beautiful art...thanks Charley.

I also want to wish those that are awaiting their GCSE's the very best of luck. Oh, and the Alevel people...get over yourselves your old news now. Jokes. I hope they went alright. Remember if they don't/didn't go as planned it isn't the end of the universe...but IS the end of your life as I am sure your parents/guardian will shank you.

Peace.

Pop the glock.

Not long ago I was watching T.V, Sky digital may I add, and as my fingers slowly tapped the numbers 360 on my remote, I was taken into a whole new world...U CHANNEL. I was delighted by the low budget videos, the occasional low budget chicks who were dutty wining on even lower budget MC's...however, my friend did not share the same joy as I. To cut a long story short she said the three most offensive words known to road..'GRIME IS DEAD'. I know.

I dont know what I was more disappointed in, the fact that my friend felt this way...or the fact that I was slowly beginning to see her point.

POINT ONE: U CHANNEL.

Now, dont get it twisted, channel u is a beautiful station. Playing the videos of many unknown/talented UK artists, videos that certain big named channels would only use to wipe their freshly doo-dooed bums with.However, with the good comes the bad...or should I say swag MC's. I can not count the amount of times I have sat mouth wide open watching some of the crap that comes crawling out of my tv screen. I'm telling you, that damp little girl from 'The Ring' aint got sheeeeet nuttin on these videos. I'm talkin making music videos using a mobile that still uses a MONOPHONIC ring tone. Please dont kill the scene!

POINT TWO: THE VIOLENCE.

Yes, I said it violence. Us guys dont really notice but we get cussed on a regular basis! How, you ask? We'll watch almost any 'grime video', you can not deny the 'yuh mudda' references' and 'yuh sistah' lyrics. I know its all fun and games but I would like to chill with the occasional tea and bikkys without being harrassed. Nuff love to Lethal b and dat but, "I'll bring Armshouse to your mums house"?!! It causes serious problems for me, I mean I dont know if I should continue happily skanking or call my dad about it.

POINT THREE: TOO MANY COOKS.

Now I promote self beliefe but it seems that every wo/man think they are going to be the next Dizzie Ras! There are way too many MC's doing the exact same thing, I often sit watching the same channel (U) not knowing where one video ends and another beings, thinking 'boy this a flippin long video aint it?'. Thats not the way God intended. Ever heard the saying too many cooks spoil the broth? We'll too many crap MC's spoil the...thing also.*sorry mind block*. Have originality, have fun, if your desperate even have connections to the spanish mob! But remember this...from when you know you can barely recite your ABC's, MCing somehow, possibly not be the right move. Save your money mate. I mean you dont see model Tyra Banks trying to host her own talk show!..Wait a second.

POINT FOUR: ESKI GRANDAD RUN WEH.

This is something that I had to say I did agree with, the fact that alot of the more talented MC's are either 'maturing' Wiley (you are still loved though) or decided that London is too rubbish for them *cough* Dizzie. I mean what will we all do when the 'oldies but goodies' decide to do a Jay-Z and retire...no I mean, REEALLLY retire? Unless someone comes up with a botox for grime, the music will become more wrinkly than Jim Branins naked ass. Yet after thinking about it there are quite a few yutes doing it big...Tinchy Stryder, Tiny Tempah and other MC's that make you have shall we say,'indecent fantasies' about dancing midgets.

POINT FIVE: NEW BRAND FLEXXX.

I do love these dudes, dont know them personally but I honestly like them maybe its because they are talented or maybe its because I dont want to get merked whilst on my daily milk and bread errand by a man coughing in my face and shouting 'ohh ahh cantona' . BUT, I do also wonder how long they are going to last and why the heck they are throwing orange millions into the chubby dudes face!? Is it some kind of threat?

Althoug she did have some valid points I still stand firmly by grime. Also, you'll be glad to know that not only is grime not dead. Its alive, kicking and making sweet love to my friends grandad as we speak. Good on ya grime.

Got my stunners on.

With the younger generation taking over, there was bound to be a couple of individuals who stood out from the rest. Whether he’s riding beats that would make even Willy Wonker buss a screetchy or rockin’ a fitted, SHADEZ does it all. All I’m saying is if you don’t know about this seventeen year, old super-fly monstrosity by now…BOY BETTER GET TO KNOW.

So, do you mind telling the sweet public what you've been up to recently?


I have been busy mainly just planning and getting everything ready. Doing some freelance design for a lot of clothing lines and up and coming clothing lines e.g Benjart, Ask Your Girl and Avit. Working with my design crew I’m in called Modu which means 'members of the underground'. We just recently had our launch party, doing some clothing for the up and coming ATL feat Doctor video, and featuring in a number of music videos e.g. Shyties new vid and F-streets new vid.

Rumor has it your only 17 years old, how do you manage to juggle your time?

It’s very hard, but I always plan ahead so I am able to know what I am doing. Design wise, I jus go with my thoughts. But ‘cause I’m always busy, if people want to arrange something with me it tends to be planned way before rather than late notice *laughs*. I usually record dates in my phone, and yes I am 17! People are shocked when I say that cause I do look older than I am, but I don’t see age as a limit when it comes to creativity. Also because I am so young people underestimate me but I am just trying to do what no one has done and become a unique focused and business minded young adult. Which may lead to me inspiring more people who want to get out there!


At such a young age, how have you managed to stay persistent in such a hectic business?

One thing I did was not to put myself in any bracket. Not to be compared to anyone else and just staying on point and sticking to my theme. Also by just turning to God and laying my plans with him (yes I am a strong Christian). I don’t tend to think like my age group, and I use his to help me move forward as I don’t want to be classed as anything. I also stay persistent by bringing you something new!


On the music front, your beats are pretty unique, the 'Retro Kandiiiiii Shadez' track in particular, where do you find your inspiration?

Inspiration comes from my whole image, also if it wasn’t for my boy MR PEACHES (myspace.com/mrpeachesmusic), the whole image wouldn’t have been able to come to life. I was basically looking for a song that would sum up my whole out look as an individual. I am a retro/urban person, yet still heavily influenced by God, not to mention the fact that I have a wacky mind like Willy wonka’s…basically you could call me insane!

If you could work with any producer/artist who would it be?

Everyone would say this…but the Neptunes. I love their feel. I would also love to work with anyone who’s unique with what they do and has soul. I am working with a good friend of mine, Heavywieght Productions. He has a good track record working with all of the known grime artists, from wretch 32 to chipmunk to many more. His style is unique as he is very versatile. Also my friend Versa…he is self explanatory. Another Mr. Versatile, also bringing out a completely unique sound when producing.

You are also quite a fashionable dude, how did the line come about?

Fashionable… that’s quite a compliment! But I don’t really see myself as that, I just try to create my own swagga and mix and match. I don’t aim to be the same as others. This also inspired me to do a clothing line ‘cause I was sick and tired of wearing the same thing. Clothing seemed to be limited to Nike this and Addidas that. Don’t get me wrong they are good clothing lines, but also very common, so I wanted to make a clothing line where people can be themselves…an individual.


Come on!, spill the beans about your line then!

I don’t really want to expose the clothing as such, but all I’m saying is that it involves Urban,Retro ,Experimental with Sweets. An 80’s Willy Wonka mixed with some robotic nerd vibes, its very colourful candy colours to be exact.

What are your prices?

My prices vary, just message me the smallest is like £10.00 I guess…but message me on www.myspace.com/kidkandi. I will actually answer! I can’t really put a price on things as it depends on how much time I put in.


Being a male in the fashion business, do you think things are harder on you?

Things are hard as to me personally, I think anyone can make a clothing line but what makes you successful is that your clothing has something cut above the rest. You must be unique and aim to do something outside the box while other just do what has been already done. I do think at times its hard for me, but I know my theme, my aim and what I am trying to show. My clothing line has a theme and purpose to it meaning there is a a backbone structure whereas other clothing lines (no offence) just put any old thing on a shirt.

Talking generally, (in both the music and fashion business) what has been your best experience?

Best experience?... I feel it’s yet to come. But a positive point has been working with people who I thought I would never meet let alone embrace a conversation with! I’m really grateful to everyone I’ve meet ‘cause I look up to these people and to hear them say they look up to me is quite surreal. I just continue to stay thankful as without god I wouldn’t even be here.

You know the deal, what has been your worst?...spill it.

I ain’t had my worst yet, I have problems in which I see the positive side and use that to help me. But no worst situation yet… however there can be some ungrateful people who don’t show appreciation when you do something for them. But then it comes with the job I guess!

Where would you like to see yourself in 10 years?

10 years… I aspire to continue fashion and make a mark with my clothing. I am still young, so I feel if I start now I am able to go back to it when I am older. I may continue acting and eventually pursue a career in it. Those are thing I feel I want to carry on because I’m able to express myself, and show the different shades to me. I want to be able to have lifes basics, I guess getting married…the kids…the house…the car!

What advice do you give other young people that want to get into your line of work?

Advice I would give to young people is, never listen to doubt. If you want to do something… just do it! (I love Nike for that *laughs*). Aim to be different, don’t aim to do what people have already done. It’s stupid. Find your own image, so you can portray what YOU want to sell. Oh, and make sure you have a theme to your clothing. It’s like the backbone which supports your clothing. Yeah, just be yourself no matter what people say…you’ll prove them wrong.

Do you have any shout outs?

Woah! I have loads, I jus wanna’ shout out Modu and all the members of UglyKidsClub. I mean we work real hard to do what we do. If you want a fresh tee just go onto www.myspace.com/uglykidsclub. I also want to shout out, The Retro Rangers (Kay star a.k.a pink ranger also Ms V. a.k.a yellow ranger ). I’m also that, we are basically a group that have more swagga than Dennis Rodman in heels mixed with a cat from the 80’s! Shout out to my swagga bro in crime Moz , my swagga girl in crime Scarlett, Jasmine, Self, Pins and to my management Saintclinx. Also Twisti, gg customs and not to mention Mr peaches. It’s a long list but to all those in my top friends, and those who are supporting me as I still grow and learn as a person and designer. Lord willing I will be a good example to the younger generation who aspire to take on the same route as I am taking.

Damn, what I would give to see SHADEZ phone book! Don't forget to check him out at his myspace page, www.myspace.com/kidkandi. Don't sleep on this one!